Navigating all facets of the emotional minefield called the family business
Because Relationship's Matter
Our Mission
Over 70% of our economy exists because of the family business. This mega-creator of jobs and hope in the world’s economy faces three barriers to “nextdom”: 1. Feelings of isolation. 2. Fears of hurting others and 3. Avoidance of confrontation (doing the hard thing). Unaddressed, they will slowly but surely erode the founder’s dream of a family “legacy”.
FAMILY FUN FACTS: How to get the fun out of dysfunctional!
· 70% fail before they leave the first generation.
· 93% of Family Leaders feel isolated believing their situation is “unique”.
· 80% have no real written succession plan.
· 95% do nothing fearing irreparable family damage.
· Are 4 times more likely to experience fraud and financial loss issues
ABOUT US...
Five years after private practice as a Family Systems Psychotherapist in Pasadena, CA, I returned to help my father carry on his now fourth generation business: One day he looked at me and asked: "I don't mean to sound stupid, but really what does being a 'family systems psychotherapist' have to do with running a family furniture business?" I replied: "Everything!"
Whether it is...addictions, sibling rivalry, generational conflict, legal and tax issues, who you hire and who you fire, do we have a future or not? All of these "matters" affect the outcome and success of the Family Business. In other companies a divorce or death or drinking problems just flow right through the system. But, not so in the Family Business. One or all of those items can determine the life or death of a 100 year old business in an instant. No matter how scary or difficult or awkward the relational matter, together we face it - all the while maintaining shareholder value through communication and insights that only one from the inside can.
WEBSTER WON'T EXPLAIN THIS TERM...
WHAT IN THE H--- IS A "UFEM: UNDIFFERENTIATED FAMILY EGO MASS?"
IF YOU DON'T READ ANYTHING ELSE ON THIS WEB SITE, PLEASE READ THESE NEXT TWO PARAGRAPHS:
Dr. Murray Bowen is considered by many to be the father of family systems psychology. Bowen coined the concept of a UFEM: the Undifferentiated Family Ego Mass. In layman's terms, it is how you and I live and act within our family (and business) as individuals (differentiated) while at the same time as a group (undifferentiated). Without a clear understanding of these "family systems" concepts, it is impossible to completely and thoroughly transform the Family Business into a healthy company that is now capable of leaving a true legacy. Please read the paragraph below to better see how remarkable Bowen's thinking was/is today.
Bowen sees the family as an emotional unit (ego mass) and uses systems thinking to describe the complex interactions in the unit. It is the nature of a family that its members are intensely connected emotionally. Often people feel distant or disconnected from their families, but this is more feeling than fact. Family members so profoundly affect each other's thoughts, feelings, and actions that it often seems as if people are living under the same "emotional skin." People solicit each other's attention, approval, and support and react to each other's needs, expectations, and distress. The connectedness and reactivity make the functioning of family members interdependent. A change in one person's functioning is predictably followed by reciprocal changes in the functioning of others.
Bowen's theory becomes even more significant when we realize how much it can impact, invade and infect the entire family business. Understandably, this "connectedness" has to affect EVERTYHING that happens within the business. Like conflict "connectedness" is not in itself good or bad. However, if one does not realize it is there and recognize the spin-off from it, the family business as a whole can suffer greatly.
PLEASE NOTE: There are plenty of healthy family business's in this world, but none of them just happened by accident. It is always intentional. (See below Ruskin quote on Quality). Our team uniquely knows how to transform the classic nepotistic "relational" based family business into a healthy long term "competency" based business.
"Quality is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternativers." John Ruskin